Yes, this makes 2 posts in one day. MADNESS!!, you say. Yes, it may be.

So, I was curious. What do ‘average people’ think when they consider board games. And by ‘average’, I mean those that don’t know what BGG stands for and those that aren’t aware that hundreds of grown men and women actually spend cold, hard cashmoney in order to enjoy 4 days pushing around wooden cubes and playing with miniature figures. To me, this is great fun. But to the world at large – read: those that do not frequent this blog (which is so close to 100% of the world’s population as to be a statistic only calculable by NASA – they’d rather trim their nosehair or go to weekly proctologist visits.

In order to come up with said data, I went to the place all hardcore researchers go to: Digg. This may not be accurate, but at least it’s more popular than this blog. Therefore, it is fact. Here is what I found. For those that wish to reproduce my statistical analysis, you may follow by tracks by searching Digg with ‘board games’. Clever, huh?

So the first link that caught my eye brought me to this guy:

Yikes, right? Yeah, he’s just having a bit too much fun, methinks. I never have that much fun playing board games. Am I doing it wrong? What game is it that has caused him to bare his teeth in a grimace/laugh of frightening proportions? Ah. Right of course. Monopoly.

Yes, it is due to this post, detailing the ‘Honest Monopoly board‘. It’s gotta be better than the original board… I’ve never looked like that playing any game, let alone Monopoly, that’s for sure. Well maybe I have, but it’s never been caught on film. That I know of. Perhaps he’s stabbing himself outside the photo after being forced to play Monopoly with his relatives for hours on end… hence, the grimace. I suppose we will never know.

What else did I find… Well, more stuff about Monopoly, of course! Why do people keep coming back to this game and keep buying this game, when no one actually seems to like it very much? Damned if I know. However, if you ARE forced to play it with your relatives, here’s an article guaranteeing you success over your Great-Aunt Milly with the mustache, EVERY TIME. Yes, you read correctly. You can win at Monopoly, every time you play. I’m sure your failure at winning this vexing game of dice and free parking has been gnawing at the back of your mind for years, eating away at your delicate and fragile ego. Well, never fear, here is the link to your salvation.

Thus far, I have to say I was pretty underwhelmed by people’s impressions of board games, out there in the wider world. Then, I found it. The article that I was searching for.  The 5 Greatest (and 5 Worst) Board Games Based On Films. Here’s an eyeopener. If these games are the mainstream public’s idea of the best games based on movies… oh god. I think I should quit designing games right now. Here’s what they came up with… and remember, these ones are only the BEST ones.

Alien

The Great Muppet Caper 3-D Game

Jaws: The Boardgame

Incredible Hulk Smash

Dawn of the Dead

Wow, now there’s a list. The only two that even have enough ratings on the Geek to be ranked are Jaws and Dawn of the Dead, and those are ranked at 4294 and 3106, respectively. Ouch. Here’s my list of suggested replacements, though they’re not actually based on movies at all…

Alien – Doom: The Boardgame (I would have gone with Space Hulk/Mutant Chronicles, but they’re not especially available)

The Great Muppet Caper 3-D Game – Clue: The Great Museum Caper … the both have ‘Caper’ in their names! Neato!  

Jaws: The Boardgame – Get Bit! Eat people. Swim with no appendages. Fun for the whole family!  

Incredible Hulk Smash – Battleball. Plenty of Smash! and fun, no Hulk. Seems like a good tradeoff.

Dawn of the Dead – Last Night on Earth. And it’s good!

I won’t go into the bad games that they list. It’s too tragic to comment on, frankly.